Interspousal Violence is ALWAYS linked to stereotypes, anger, and lowered Values
Family Colors Word for the Week!
WANT A FIVE-STAR FAMILY? THEN USE ALL PROJECT MANAGEMENT PRINCIPLES!
All the 12 Project Management Principles can help you build a five-star family! All of them are targeted at ensuring that your commitment to the family is not only professional but also technically sound. 1. SUCCESS PRINCIPLE - You must have a desire for your marriage and family to be successful. That desire drives you to do hat needs to be done 2. PROJECT MANAGER PRINCIPLE - You must have a leadership and if there is no leader, then formulate one and abide by the leadership as well as support it 3. COMMITMENT PRINCIPLE - You must be committed and give all for the arrangement to work exceptionally 4. STRUCTURE PRINCIPLE - There must be a structure that also balances goals, schedule and resources. Activities must be aligned to goals if the goals will be achieved 5. DEFINITION PRINCIPLE - There has to be a definition of the phases as well as the timelines. Everybody must have enough information to know the stage the arrangement is on 6. TRANSPARENCY PRNCIPLE - There has to be an im...
People often ask me how they can identify the future husband that will beat the wife and my answer is easy - look for that man that beat his sister, that gets angry so easily, that does not have any person he takes as a serious authority over his life, that is highly possessive and values people less. That is the man. If he hasn't started beating the wife, he will still do it. Give him time.
ReplyDeleteThe issue of spousal abuse has grown to unbelievable proportions and is still expanding! Why? Because of the supportive culture of:
- secrecy
- 'don't taint the family name'
- shame associated
- 'forgive, it was a mistake'
- he won't do it again
The cycle of spousal violence does not help matter in itself. Immediately it happens, the villain feels:
- remorseful and goes ahead to apologize,
- justifies his actions (if it wasn't because you said this, it wouldn't have happened),
- moves the victim into a honeymoon scenario (where he spends on her to make up for the act)
- gets the victim back to normal life
Once the normalcy returns and the victim has forgotten, it only takes a little while before the trigger comes on again (ie the action that triggered the violence) and he commits the offence again.
NOTE: THE VILLAIN CANNOT HELP HIMSELF AND CANNOT STOP UNTIL HE IS CONFRONTED. MARK THESE WORDS
The cycle keeps happening and continues to increase in intensity until the victim can no longer take it and flees, or dies or CONFRONTS the villain!
And for those who think, 'its not my business' please note that the victim could be your sister.
RECOGNIZING ABUSE:
- That woman that comes to work wearing large dark colored glasses and hides her face
- That woman that gives excuses upon coming to work that her swollen face was caused by her usual falls
- That woman that had black eye last month and now has a fresh one
DO the extra check! Ask her in confidence and help another persons sister. Your sister might be going through the dangerous hands of a villain. Lets generate the culture of helping to call out abusers or rescuing the abusee.
Say No and do something against Spousal Violence
OPTIONS
- Confrontation
- Report to State social worker
- Whistle-blowing
- Counseling
- Anger management programs
Anyone that has issues could write to us for further help familycolors@yahoo.co.uk
PERCEPTION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FROM THE NIGERIAN LENS
ReplyDeleteThe perceptions of domestic violence vary based on region, religion, and class. For example, the Tiv in Nigeria view wife-beating as a “sign of love” that should be encouraged as evidenced by the statement, "If you are not yet beaten by your husband then you do not know the joy of marriage and that means you are not yet married".
All the major ethnic groups in Nigeria- Yoruba, Igbo, and Hausa - have strong patriarchal societal structures that lead to the justification of domestic violence. However, the Hausa are more supportive of domestic violence and viewing it as an inherent right of a husband.
There are differences in the perceptions of domestic violence varying across reasons. There are higher numbers for instances like neglecting the children or going out without telling the husband and less for refusal of sex or a mere argument. Many of the reasons that are viewed as acceptable for domestic violence are largely subjective to a husband's interpretation. For example, common acceptable beatings among men are lack of respect for husband, stubbornness, imposition of will on husband, and failure of wifely duties.
The 2008 NDHS did a study to view the acceptability of wife beating in Nigeria. They put forward five scenarios and asked both men and women. Significantly, among women, there were trends that viewed wife-beating acceptable. It was viewed as more acceptable in rural areas, among uneducated women, and poor women. The reason most viewed as justified for beating was going out without telling the husband. The same views were expressed among men.
THIS MAKES SPOUSAL ABUSE A MISNOMER OF EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS. FAMILY COLORS WILL IN SOME MONTHS SET UP A CALL-CENTER TO ASSIST IN REPORTING AND HANDLING SPOUSAL ABUSE IN NIGERIA.
KEEP AN EYE ON THIS!